


Reminder successfully set – Changbin

by InoruMarufuji



Series: Nightmare [4]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bine you have a VIP pass so feel free to enter, Bine's Birthday Celebration: SKZ Nightmare Series, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Disjointed narrative, Gen, Hallucinations, I don't think there's any hope for me, Keep walking, No Spoilers, Puzzle fic, THIS HELL IS MEMBERS ONLY, They aren't specified because spoilers, Unreliable Narrator, lots and lots of it, triggering elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21835447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InoruMarufuji/pseuds/InoruMarufuji
Summary: [M̳a̳z̳e̳ ̳o̳f̳ ̳M̳e̳m̳o̳r̳i̳e̳s̳|Side Effects][4/9] I wish that anger would bloom into a flower. - Maze of Memories
Series: Nightmare [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569787
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Reminder successfully set – Changbin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken/gifts).



> Part 4 of Bine's birthday celebration!

[ **Maze of Memories** | ~~Side Effects~~ ]

By the time Changbin and Chan set out to find their missing member, Minho had already been gone from the dorm for some time, having run away like the damn coward he was.

Leaving behind a bundle of sorrow called Jisung.

Leaving behind his confused and helpless members that were scared by the tragedy that had befallen them.

Leaving behind his duty as a hyung to protect the kids.

And Changbin was sure as hell going to give him a piece of his mind when he returned.

Taking care of the younger members on any normal day was difficult enough as it was with the endless amounts of energy they kept stored and their weird ideas that made all hyungs shake their heads with how ridiculous they were.

Except maybe Chan, but he was whipped beyond what was good for him anyway, so he didn't really count.

The picture of Felix and Jisung trying to turn their garden into a butterfly garden by planting lots of different flowers while Chan had watched with a content smile from their doorstep was still so fresh in his mind, even though so many things had happened to make times like these go to hell.

He remembered the blooming garden all too well, could see it every time he closed his eyes, but nowadays, with the lack of care the flowers had received from any of them lately, they'd all withered away.

Those flowers called Morning Glory, Felix's favorites, had been the first ones to go, followed by the dahlias Jisung's whipped ass had planted after finding out that the flower language behind them was 'commitment' and 'staying true to one's partner'.

After that, it had gone downhill with their garden fairly quickly and by now, it was almost exclusively populated by weeds and dandelions.

It wasn't a pretty sight by any means, but it fitted their mental state as a group, decaying and hopelessly crumbling.

Because Minho had decided to be a coward.

And because Chan had decided that it was a great idea to follow Minho's example.

He was such a coward. Changbin couldn't stand it.

He used to think Chan was the perfect fit for a leader, the perfect embodiment of all the qualities and abilities required to control seven other people and their different expectations, but maybe he just thought wrong.

Because the boy he occasionally saw wandering around the dorm without any sort of aim or goal was so far from the term 'leader' that it was pathetic.

The boy who picked some of the withering flowers they still had left in their garden every time he left the house and who always cringed back in front of these harsh white walls and the cross on top of the building as if it was physically painful to look at it.

Changbin was sure he knew.

He already knew, but he pretended not to for the sake of his sanity.

Even now, on a day like this, he had plucked some flowers and went straight to the building, a handwritten letter safely tucked away in the bouquet of dandelions he had compiled.

He always wrote one when he visited the hospital, yet the contents of those letters varied drastically depending on where his mind currently was. It had spiralled downwards considerably last time, the letter merely composed of rambling and weird pictures whose meaning he hadn't been able to figure out yet.

Not that it mattered anyway, Changbin wasn't about to waste time analyzing what a coward wrote in his letters.

He had more important things to take care of.

Things the other hyungs apparently couldn't be bothered to do.

''I'd like to deliver some flowers.''

The nurse behind the reception looked up from her nails to scan Chan's face, expression bored and the slightest hint annoyed that she actually had to do her job now instead of lazing around.

Changbin just stayed close to the door, watching the exchange impatiently as he played around with his phone, hoping for some update concerning Jeongin and his whereabouts.

But the device stayed silent.

''What patient?''

''Lee Minho.''

She didn't even flinch, didn't even give Chan that sad sympathetic smile, didn't even shake her head in pity, didn't even hesitate to type the name into her computer.

She was obviously new.

But was that for worse or better?

''Yeah, sorry, that patient doesn't exist in the database'', she replied after some searching and for a brief moment Chan's face showed realization, understanding and most important of all, confusion.

Sadly though, the moment came and went and he was back to that facade he had chosen to hide behind, _like a coward._

''I'm always delivering my flowers here though.''

His voice was unyielding, certain, almost icy and the nurse seemed surprised at being talked to like that, immediately checking her database again with a frustrated sigh.

''Well, **maybe** -'', she started mumbling under her breath, but stopped herself all of a sudden as she saw the words on the screen that Chan had most certainly seen before.

Her hand came up to cover her mouth and her eyes nervously darted from the computer to Chan, apparently dreading what she had to tell him.

Which was stupid because Chan already _knew._

He was still in denial, but judging by the letters Changbin had collected from here time and time again, he seemed to slowly catch on to the situation, at least as far as it concerned Felix.

At the thought of Felix, Changbin couldn't help but check his phone, wondering whether he'd gotten a message from the boys left at the dorm yet.

Jisung had promised to keep him up to date about everything, but up until now, it didn't seem as if there had been any noteworthy events because his lockscreen was devoid of any notifications save for the reminder he had set for himself.

**_Reminder: Apologize to Jisung._ **

Truth be told, he didn't remember setting a reminder, nor did he remember what he was supposed to apologize for, but since he wasn't a coward he would apologize to Jisung anyway the next time he saw him.

''Hyung?''

He looked up from his phone at the sound of that voice, his surroundings no longer the white walls of a hospital, but instead the green and brown of a forest that stretched out endlessly in every direction.

He wasn't surprised anymore, if anything he had almost expected to find himself in a new place as soon as he averted his eyes from the scene around him.

It had happened so frequently these past days that it had become a normal thing for him, as normal as brushing his teeth, and even though he didn't know why his surroundings kept changing, why he kept spacing out like this, he had come to accept it.

''Hyung?'', the voice asked again, more unsure this time, and Changbin's blood boiled as he realized who it belonged to.

The coward himself.

He was sitting on a fallen log next to a creek that ran through the forest, the bright water quietly lapping against some rocks that were obstructing its way.

He didn't seem to see Changbin, as evident by the way his eyes wandered over the line of trees he had hidden himself behind without any sort of recognition.

He probably expected Chan to hang around here somewhere, probably thought he wanted to check up on him as if he was still a competent leader.

As if he still cared about anyone.

As if he hadn't become a coward through Minho's example.

Changbin could feel his hands twitching and he gritted his teeth as he watched his hyung staring at the water in the creek, the soft wind playing with his brown strands and blowing them into his face while the setting sun was tinting the scene in a calming orange glow.

Fucking Minho.

Was this where he spent all of his newly acquired freetime? Moping around in the forest about his miserable life and watching the water flow as if that would do anything?

Avoiding confrontation and waiting for Chan to find him so that he could once again wallow in self-hatred in front of him and encourage him to take after his example?

It angered Changbin and before he knew what he was doing, he had stepped out of the trees' shadow and was rushing towards Minho in a blind fit of rage.

The other boy barely had any time to react, he just looked up in surprise when he heard him approach, a question already forming on his lips that only fueled Changbin's rage.

''Hyung, wha-''

Hyung.

He froze for a second, brows furrowing as he tried to understand why Minho had addressed him like this even though he was the one who was older.

Had he finally realized that he hadn't been acting like a proper hyung lately? Was he resigning from his position as hyung for good now?

Was he being a coward again? Huh? _Was that it?_

''You piece of shit.''

The words were out before he had any control over them and he saw Minho flinch back at their harshness which, truthfully, was a very uncharacteristic thing for him to do.

But then again, everything he did nowadays was uncharacteristic compared to the Minho he thought he knew.

The one who always had some witty remarks ready, who never backed down from a challenge, who wouldn't let himself get insulted like this, who cared for all the members and did his goddamn job of keeping the kids safe.

''What? What did I do?''

He was really out here asking what he did wrong.

Acting all innocent. As if he wasn't the reason Jisung was crying back at the dorm.

A seething, flaring instinct welled up inside of Changbin and suddenly, the world tilted sideways and a cold sensation crept up his legs to the rest of his body as a splash resounded through the forest.

There was a choked cry from Minho and some struggling limbs underneath him that disrupted the quiet water, but he worked on autopilot, his hands tangled in Minho's hair as he forcefully shoved his head down into the shallow creek.

And on a lonely rock in the middle of it.

The thud that followed his action might have been sickening to him any other day, yet today, it was music to his ears, just like the scream that tore loose from his hyung's throat.

No.

That wasn't his hyung.

If anything, the behavior Minho had displayed lately reminded him of the way a childish maknae would act and as per his duty as a hyung, he would try to reeducate him now.

Another thud, another pained groan and a noise that sounded suspiciously like something cracking.

In a weird, twisted way, Changbin liked this.

It was an outlet for the rage he had bottled up inside himself in order to be the good hyung the kids had needed, in order to substitute for all the cowards who didn't do it.

The creek's water turned slightly red from the steady stream of blood pouring out from under Minho's head and it was nice because he finally had a reaction.

A reaction other than running away and avoiding confrontation.

''H-hyung, stop!''

His face was scrunched up in pain, his breathing ragged as he tried to regain some coordination, but everything was so slow due to his brains bleeding out into the water.

''W-why...''

''Why am I doing this?'', Changbin guessed, bashing Minho's head on the rock one more time for good measure. Three was the charm.

He knew he shouldn't feel that much satisfaction from hurting someone he had once considered family, but he simply couldn't help it.

He was so incredibly angry and he really wanted to be angry because his anger was the only thing that kept his own demons at bay, prevented them from crawling out of the deepest corners in his mind where they currently resided, prevented them from completely screwing him over.

Granted, from an outsider perspective, it might look like he had already lost his mind, but that was simply not the case.

He knew what he was doing, was hyper aware of the tainted water, of the blood that was running over his fingertips, of the disgusting iron smell that invaded his nose, of the deed he was currently committing, but none of it made him stop.

Why?

Because...

''Because you're a fucking coward, Minho.''

Minho's rapid breathing suddenly stilled and he stared up at him with a growing confusion in his eyes that was barely visible behind that veil of hurt that clouded his sight.

His mouth opened and closed as if he was trying to form words, but before he could get anything out, Changbin's phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out right away, hoping it was some sort of update from Jisung.

However, it was just a reminder again.

**_Reminder: Call Jisung._ **

He looked up from his phone just as a horrible screeching sound filled the air and a rush of wind hit him with so much force that he stumbled back, painfully aware of how much he was freezing with his wet clothes.

A cloud of dust swirled around the scene, but instead of backing away from it as any normal human being would have done, Changbin dashed forward towards it in a grim intuition.

From somewhere above him, he heard a dull rumbling, as if there was a landslide coming down, but somehow he couldn't pay it any mind.

He couldn't see, but it was clear as day what had happened.

A train had crashed.

And the sinking feeling in his stomach told him that _someone_ had been involved in this accident, even if he couldn't quite put his finger on who it was yet.

Regardless, he found himself yelling for one of his members, his voice swallowed by the dust around him and the rumble from above.

He was in there. He had to be.

Where else could he have gone?

Despite his inability to see, he reached the train's door and shoved it open, only to immediately get hit in the face by the smell of death.

He resisted the urge to choke, merely pulling the collar of his shirt up to his nose before he started fighting his way through the train, watchful eyes scanning every corner in search for a sign of life.

His phone was going off like crazy in his pocket, more and more messages and calls appearing on the screen, all of them from Jisung, but he didn't stop to look at them.

Why should he? They didn't concern him, did they?

**_You have (1) missed call._ **

_Jisung: Hyung, where are you? **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (3) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: Seriously, call me, I'm worried **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (8) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: You aren't even getting my messages, what the hell **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (25) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: Why aren't you picking up? **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (37) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: Did something happen? **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (49) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: Hyung, please talk to me **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (66) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: Please **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (75) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: Please come back to us **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (80) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: … **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (85) missed calls._ **

_Jisung: Please come back to me **[Not seen]**_

**_You have (86) missed calls._ **

A mop of dark grey hair came into sight and Changbin froze for a second as he attempted to match it to a certain person.

It took a moment, but once he realized who it was, he instantly felt his body lock up in shock, hands shaking as a wave of nausea crashed over him.

No. _No._

Not him.

Not Hyunjin.

Not when he had sworn to protect him. All of them.

He dropped to the floor beside the younger member, already seeing the massive amount of blood on his face and chest that told him what he needed to know pretty clearly, but he still reached out to try and feel a pulse.

A pulse that wasn't there anymore.

A pulse that probably hadn't been there for a long time.

Hyunjin didn't deserve this.

He didn't deserve to get buried under a landslide stuck inside of a train that no one even cared about because it supposedly hadn't transported any passengers.

He didn't deserve to be forgotten, have his death swept under the rug like it was nothing, just another number on a screen for the statistic.

He didn't deserve to die, leaving behind his family and friends and everyone who cared about him.

He didn't deserve it. Any of it.

Changbin hesitantly let his fingers wander from Hyunjin's neck to his hair, the need to brush through it in a loving gesture overwhelming, the need to deny the bitter truth a little longer crushing him, the need to be a coward this one time no longer appalling and disgusting in his eyes.

Maybe Minho had rubbed off on him after all.

Fucking Minho.

His phone buzzed with yet another reminder.

**_Reminder: Get the receipt._ **

He looked up from the display.

He was in front of the train again.

The dust was no longer obstructing his sight which meant that he now had a clear view of the valley that surrounded him, as did he of the landslide that was still rushing down to meet him, destroying everything in its path with a mixture of gravity, momentum and friction.

It looked way slower than he would have believed it to be, but that didn't mean he was able to outrun it.

Where would he even go? He was stuck in a valley.

What else had he left to do except come to terms with the fact that this was how it was going to end?

That he was going to be buried under some dirt with the truth he held in his hands so that no one could ever reconstruct what had really happened?

His gaze wandered down to the ripped newspaper article he had taken from inside Hyunjin's jacket, the one that told of several members' disappearance, the one that accused a member of horrific deeds and the one that was so incredibly fake in all senses of the word.

And he could really say that it was fake because after all, he'd been there, gathering clues from the other members in order to put together what had really happened.

Still, he wasn't completely there yet, something was missing in the story he had figured out, and he just knew that Minho held the last piece to the truth.

But Minho had decided to be a coward.

So to gain that last piece, Changbin too had to be a coward.

And he was. He really was.

**_Reminder: Return Minho's phone._ **

Fucking Minho.

[4/9] Where is the locked door that hides the truth?


End file.
